he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Houston, we have a blender
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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