Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
