just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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