i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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