I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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