I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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