a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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