it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Randomize
