I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
