is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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