If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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