I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize