You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
if only i could text you this smell
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
