I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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