i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
