Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
