I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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