Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
