I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
