Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
