she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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