As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
