Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
