Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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