We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
