you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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