I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
