"it" just moved
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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