People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
