I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
