btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
well you can't waste a boner
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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