was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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