Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
