Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
