I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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