Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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