he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
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after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
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Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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