i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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