How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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