Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize