There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
