Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Are we still banned from the library?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
A bitchslap is in order.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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