Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
