just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
