as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
