Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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