Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize