Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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