Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I need a beard to bite.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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