your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
stop calling my apartment porn island.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
