he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
