Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
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The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
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It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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