but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
