dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
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