Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
