I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
