I wish I could punch you in the face.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
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