My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize