new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize