isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
