grandma shit on top of the toilet
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize