why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
