a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize