I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
